Lists

I’m on a lot of lists.

Email lists, distribution lists, black lists, friend lists, short lists, long lists shit lists, demographic lists, metric lists, and for quite a few I seem to be on an ignore list. So be it. I’ve been on both sides of that particular issue and I’m a firm believer that I’ve earned what I am getting.

There are things that I wish were unsaid and actions I wish were undone. In truth, people try to give me advice on how to not live in regret. I’m glad that they can perform that action. I haven’t been able to master that.

Things in my past haunt me. Seeds that I’ve sown are growing into bitter and hard-shelled fruits which have led to another crop of hard hearts and repression. Furthermore my own present and future are in question on a daily basis.

Too many things to keep track of.

Quite frankly, I’m tired of lists.